Steven Sitler: “Urge Control Contract”

I, Steven Sitler, recognize that I will sometimes have urges or fantasies to reoffend. I know that I am available Creature of God who cares about others, so I am making this contract as an insurance policy against reoffending. I here by promise that when I have an urge, fantasies of opportunity to commit a sexual offence or any act close to an offence I will do the following.

  1. Stop or change my dangerous Sexual fantasies by yelling STOP to myself and substituting a negative fantasy of being thrown in jail and humiliated in front of all my friends who believe in me.
  2. Tell my self it is not worth taking any chances, I can avoid or escape a dangerous situation: it is never too late until the deed is done, and I can succeed in not reoffending.
  3. Write out a good and bad consequence chart about reoffending or not reoffending.
  4. Think about what needs I am trying to satisfy through offending and try to find some other ways of satisfying them
  5. Change what I am doing to Something safe that will take my mind off offending.
  6. Read my urge control card.
  7. Talk to a friend, counselor, or probation officer or call a crisis hotline.
  8. Go someplace where I cannot offend, MPD, Jail, P&P, Friends house.
  9. If l still feel the urge and/or these alternatives aren’t possible, take forty deep breaths, exhaling slowly.
  10. If none of these techniques works, I will wait at least thirty minutes to allow the urge to go away.

Afterward, I will talk to my group and or counselor about having the urge or fantasy, what I think were the triggers that caused it and what I did to successfully overcome it. I will also reward myself for successfully following my contract by doing something positive I enjoy.

I agree to read this plan over every Sunday night as a constant reminder keep myself safe

Signed: Steven Sitler
Date: 6-5-2007



When I get a strong fantasy, thought, idea or urge to commit a sexual offence, I will sit down and carefully read over the following

  1. A fantasy, thought, idea or urge to reoffend is not unusual. It doesn’t mean I have lost control or failed. And it doesn’t mean I have to offend.
  2. If l fell scared or guilty about my sexual fantasy, thought, idea or urge, I will remind myself that I have power over them I don’t have to give into them. I have other choices. I have other options that can satisfy my needs besides offending.
  3. I will think of this as a learning experience. I will look at my life and try to figure out what has led up to the fantasy, thought, idea or urge. I will try to figure out what need I am trying to satisfy, and I will brainstorm all the other positive, non harmful ways I can meet my needs.
  4. I will follow the steps of my urge control contract.
  5. If I am still having trouble, I will think about who I can call to talk to. I will look at the phone numbers of these allies on the other side of this card in my phone and call until I can talk to one of them

Above all, I will remind myself that I am in control.

An urge or fantasy does not make me a sex offender.

I am in control. This urge will pass.


Voyeurism Lapse

  1. Accepting Binoculars
  2. Noticing neighbors
  3. Subconsciously making plans to voyeur
  4. Checking once to find out they moved
  5. Not watching my red flags
  6. Looking out the window when horny
  7. Deciding to use binoculars
  8. Making sure door was locked, lights were off,


Relapse Prevention Check List of Red Flags

Long term

  • Skipped Bible reading
  • Skipped prayer
  • Didn’t confess
  • Was/am depressed
  • Used fantasies while masturbating
  • Unusual Sexual acts
  • Cussed at people in my head
  • Lack of sleep
  • Feel lonely
  • Was/am angry
  • Was/am horny
  • Was/am stressed

Short term

  • Plotting/planning
  • Keeping people out
  • Taking precautions not to get caught
  • “Ideas” while masturbating
  • Feel my heart on my breath