I, Steven Sitler, recognize that I will sometimes have urges or fantasies to reoffend. I know that I am available Creature of God who cares about others, so I am making this contract as an insurance policy against reoffending. I here by promise that when I have an urge, fantasies of opportunity to commit a sexual offence or any act close to an offence I will do the following.
- Stop or change my dangerous Sexual fantasies by yelling STOP to myself and substituting a negative fantasy of being thrown in jail and humiliated in front of all my friends who believe in me.
- Tell my self it is not worth taking any chances, I can avoid or escape a dangerous situation: it is never too late until the deed is done, and I can succeed in not reoffending.
- Write out a good and bad consequence chart about reoffending or not reoffending.
- Think about what needs I am trying to satisfy through offending and try to find some other ways of satisfying them
- Change what I am doing to Something safe that will take my mind off offending.
- Read my urge control card.
- Talk to a friend, counselor, or probation officer or call a crisis hotline.
- Go someplace where I cannot offend, MPD, Jail, P&P, Friends house.
- If l still feel the urge and/or these alternatives aren’t possible, take forty deep breaths, exhaling slowly.
- If none of these techniques works, I will wait at least thirty minutes to allow the urge to go away.
Afterward, I will talk to my group and or counselor about having the urge or fantasy, what I think were the triggers that caused it and what I did to successfully overcome it. I will also reward myself for successfully following my contract by doing something positive I enjoy.
I agree to read this plan over every Sunday night as a constant reminder keep myself safe
Signed: Steven Sitler
URGE CONTROL CARD
When I get a strong fantasy, thought, idea or urge to commit a sexual offence, I will sit down and carefully read over the following
- A fantasy, thought, idea or urge to reoffend is not unusual. It doesn’t mean I have lost control or failed. And it doesn’t mean I have to offend.
- If l fell scared or guilty about my sexual fantasy, thought, idea or urge, I will remind myself that I have power over them I don’t have to give into them. I have other choices. I have other options that can satisfy my needs besides offending.
- I will think of this as a learning experience. I will look at my life and try to figure out what has led up to the fantasy, thought, idea or urge. I will try to figure out what need I am trying to satisfy, and I will brainstorm all the other positive, non harmful ways I can meet my needs.
- I will follow the steps of my urge control contract.
- If I am still having trouble, I will think about who I can call to talk to. I will look at the phone numbers of these allies on the other side of this card in my phone and call until I can talk to one of them
Above all, I will remind myself that I am in control.
An urge or fantasy does not make me a sex offender.
I am in control. This urge will pass.
- Accepting Binoculars
- Noticing neighbors
- Subconsciously making plans to voyeur
- Checking once to find out they moved
- Not watching my red flags
- Looking out the window when horny
- Deciding to use binoculars
- Making sure door was locked, lights were off,
Relapse Prevention Check List of Red Flags
- Skipped Bible reading
- Skipped prayer
- Didn’t confess
- Was/am depressed
- Used fantasies while masturbating
- Unusual Sexual acts
- Cussed at people in my head
- Lack of sleep
- Feel lonely
- Was/am angry
- Was/am horny
- Was/am stressed
- Keeping people out
- Taking precautions not to get caught
- “Ideas” while masturbating
- Feel my heart on my breath